101 Ways To Get Killed By Organization XIII
by Anti-Form Sora
Summary: Basically what the tital says. I was bored, so I decided to write something like this. T for safty. Hopefully, you won't actually go and try to do these, cuz I love you guys. Have fun! Over 3,000 hits! And at least 100 on each chapter! I love you guys!
1. Axel

**A/N:** Okay! Here we go with a new story! It's (drumroll) 101 WAYS TO TICK THE ORGANIZATION!! I accept any sort of help that you can give. I'll give kudos to those people who help me out as well as their choice of blueberry and chocolate chip muffins and sugar cookies. I'm going to do them in groups of 7, 7 for each member (including Naminé), then 3 for whomever else I want, then 1 major one that would piss everyone off. First off is Axel

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#1

Throw him into a freezing pool in the middle of winter in northern Canada.

#2

Spraying him with Marluxia's berry smelling body spray while he is sleeping.

#3

Replace his CDs with classical music.

#4

Tell him that Roxas thinks that his hair looks smexy. (That would get Axel chased around, then you once he realizes what you did.)

#5

Chance his chakrams with bike tires that look like his chakrams.

#6

Shove him into a crowd of fan girls and tell him that there's hair gel in the center, and all the girls are there for that.

#7

Put a big tub full of melted ice cream in his door that is slightly cracked and wait for him to come in (kinda like putting a bucket of water on top of the door).

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**A/N:** Hope you like that. Tell me things that you want me to say for certain characters. I'm going to need a lot of help with Lexaeus. Please R and R!


	2. Xemnas

**A/N:** Woot! Not even 24 hours, and a review! Here's chapter 2 with our favorite bad guy, Mansex. This chapter is dedicated to CheshireCatwoman-san, because she tried #5 of the last chapter and now she is most likely going to die. I highly suggest that CheshireCatwoman-san should change her name and go into hiding.

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#8

Show him that his name actually equals Mansex.

#9

Tell him that he looks like a cow in his black and white cloak.

#10

Tell him that Demyx has the hots for him.

#11

Tell him that he had it all wrong from the very beginning. Tell him that it's Kingdom PANCREAS, not Kingdom HEARTS, and now he has to start all over again.

#12

Knock him unconscious and pluck his eyebrows till they are really small and thin.

#13

Tell him how much he actually looks like Dumbledore from Harry Potter.

#14

Give him a mirror that "shows" that he has a huge bald spot on the back of his head that everybody laughs at when he's not looking.

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**A/N:** Yet another chapter. Don't yell at me for some of these, because I'm having a small brain fart.


	3. Lexaeus

**A/N:** Okay. I know I just posted Xemnas' chapter minutes before, but I checked my email and CheshireCatwoman-san gave me some things to put for Lexaeus, so I could have him done and out of the way. And I'm bored. So this chapter's kudos go to CheshireCatwoman-san for #'s 15 through 19, which is like the whole chapter XD

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#15

Tell him to shut up.

#16

Tell him to get a room with Zexion.

#17

Switch out his tomahawk with Marluxia's scythe, then watch as they duke it out over whether or not he stole it.

#18

Let Saix gnaw on his rocks.

#19

Steal his rock collection and use them as doorstops or skip them over the lake. Or sell them on Ebay.

#20

Shave his hair off.

#21

Doodle on his face with pencil eye liner.

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**A/N:** Also, I forgot to put this in the last 2 chapters, but please no flames. Flames will only be used to help Vexen's body temperature rise from -37 degrees F. So please none of that.


	4. Roxas

**A/N:** Why is it that I have so many chapters up and it hasn't even been a day?! WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?! Well, here's what will get you killed by Roxas.

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#22

Give him a Soap-on-a-Rope and say it's a new Keychain.

#23

Tell him that Xigbar eats children and he's eyeing him up.

#24

Tell him the things on the clearance rack are free.

#25

Tell him you have pictures of him and Axel last night and watch him freak out.

#26

Switch all his non-Organization cloths with girl sized equivalents.

#27

Tell him that Axel is his somebody and watch him think freak out.

#28

Tell him that he actually has a heart and Xemnas is planing to kill him for it.


	5. Marluxia

**A/N**: I wrote this and the last chapter during church. I couldn't stop cracking up and my mom was thinking I was weird. Please R and R!

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#29

Shave his head

#30

Give him a fake flower and tell him that it's one of his most prized flowers.

#31

"Accidently" call him "she" when he is within hearing distance.

#32

Tell him that you read his diary and you'll tell everybody what was in it unless he does what you tell him to do, then tell him that it was actually Zexion's.

#33

Put his clock back an hour so it messes up his diet.

#34

Ask him if he's pregnant with Vexen's baby, or vice versa.

#35

Tell him Axel is burning his gardens.


	6. Zexion

**A/N:** Okay. I was a bit better with this chapter. I waited pretty much the whole day before continuing. This is the probably the only episode that matches up with the character. Zexion's chapter! Yay!

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#36

Tell him that Axel burned his book. (Again, I know.)

#37

Tell him Marluxia used his book as fertilizer.

#38

Tell him that his hair is so emo that it cuts itself.

#39

Say that if he ever owned a own house, he won't have to take care of the grass because it's so emo.

#40

Say that he's being a bad example to Roxas.

#41

Tell him that his diary sounds a lot like the emo song.

#42

Ask if he woke up on the wrong side of the bed, or if that's his natural hair style.

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For those who want to help me out, these are the people I haven't done yet if you're too lazy to figure them out yourselfs: Xaldin, Xigbar, Vexen, Zexion, Saïx, Demyx, Luxord, Larxene, and Naminé. Okay. Now, HOPEFULLY, I won't be adding any more chapters tonight. I mean, 6 chapters in about a day? How bored can someone be?


	7. Naminé

**A/N**: reads over reviews Oops... um, sorry CheshireCatwoman-san. I misread your review. I thought you said that you DID switch out Axel's chakrams for bike tires, not that you LIKED the idea. Sorry! laughs nervously Um.. Can we get to Naminé... please? (Demyx puppy eyes)

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#43

Steal her sketchbook.

#44

Leave some extra material so she can draw random comics of yaoi pairings and tell her people that she should ask to model for her.

#45

Wonder out loud that Saïx and Larxene would make a good couple, then walk out leaving her to her own creative mind.

#46

Wonder out loud what that noise was coming from Axel's room and ask where Roxas is.

#47

Show her some pictures on Deviantart and say that they're better than her pathetic drawings.

#48

Dare her to ask Xemnas if he cleans up after Saïx.

#49

Use her sketch pads for dirty memos between random people of the Organization.

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Okay. I know that was quick because I wanted to get this up before I went to school. Hope you like it.


	8. Saïx

**A/N:** Okay. Here's chapter 8 with Saïx. Geesh. I've been drinking WAY too much tea. I've had **4 CUPS OF TEA** today! Oh, and CheshireCatwoman-san, I just remembered that I owe you a choice of either muffins or cookies.

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#50

Whenever he's around, act as if he's a puppy.

#51

Steal one of Xigbar's gun... things and use his scar for target practice.

#52

On his birthday, give him a pair of InuYasha ears.

#53

Also on his birthday, switch Xemnas' gift with a pair of fluffy handcuffs and attach a note that says "This is for later tonight." Try not to give yourself away when he reads the note.

#54

Start singing an annoying song and don't stop even if he asks you to stop.

#55

Act deep in thought, and when he asks what you are thinking about, say that he and Snape from Harry Potter really are alike.

#56

Tell him that Naminé is drawing naughty pictures of him and Larxene.

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**A/N:** Great. My mom want's me to give up my early release for next year. So this chapter is dedicated to all those who have early release from school.


	9. Vexen

**A/N:** Okay. This chapter's victim is Vexen. Please enjoy!

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#57

Tell him that Xemnas wants him to be in Mexico for a mission.

#58

Tell him that Marluxia is putting everybody on a special diet based on their body type and weight, and say that his is cooked cabbage.

#59

Get him really drunk, then dare him to kiss Demyx. Make sure you have a camera that is recording and use the video as blackmail.

#60

Record something that he says without him knowing that you're doing it, rearrange what he said, and then show it to him. Tell him that you'll show it to Xemnas unless he tells everyone that he likes Marluxia, then play it anyway.

#61

Tell Marluxia that Vexen was the one that really stole his scythe, not Lexaeus.

#62

Tell Xemnas that you have proof that Vexen has been slacking off on the job with Marluxia.

#63

Tell him that nobody would love him except his mother, who is currently dead, and Vivi.

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**A/N:** Okay. I'm thinking about Demyx for the next chapter. So any ideas, throw them at me. But not violently! (Covers head)


	10. Demyx

**A/N:** I lied. Twice. This chapter is about Luxord.

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#64

Put really big, evil smiles on his cards.

#65

Put really nasty positions on his cards and don't tell him. Then dare him to go up to Lexaeus and ask him to pick a card, any card.

#66

Whenever he starts to talk, laugh at him.

#67

Switch out his humongous cards for the near blind for really super-mini ones.

#68

Challenge him to a luck game, then when he was almost won, have Axel come over and burn the cards. Would help if it was his own personal deck.

#69

Convince him to walk into a bookstore/library, and when he's looking into a book, say very loudly, "Luxord! Put the porno away!" Then run away very fastly.

#70

Tell Larxene that Luxord has been going into her room when she's out.

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**A/N: **Happy MarluVex day, or however you say it. Yay! 4/11


	11. The REAL Demyx Chapter

**A/N**: Okay. I know that I put Demyx as the title for the last chapter. That was just to poke some fun. And that was my April Fool's joke, since I didn't do any this year. So here's The real Demyx chapter!

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#71

Call his sitar a messed-up banjo.

#72

Tell him that his water clones really look like him and tell him to use them to get out of meatings. Don't expect to see him for a few days.

#73

Say that it's Saïx's birthday and give him a box. Don't tell him what's in it. Inside should be a squeaky dog toy. Expect to see some obvious beating marks.

#74

Dare him to go find Larxene's room to find her tampons.

#75

See if he can dance to any of the songs he knows how to play on the sitar.

#76

Dress up as him and clame that he's really a water clone and that you're the real Demyx.

#77

Tell him he's now signed up for ballet lessons.

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**A/N:** Yeah. sorry again for all those people that were confused about the last chapter. And I've started my driving lessions! I'm so happy!! :D I don't know who I'm going to do for the next chapter, so just be patient.


	12. Larxene

**A/N:** Okay. This chapter is all about Larxene. Have fun and run! Kudos for this chapter go to Bugsey58-san for numbers 78 and 79 and for inspiring 80. So you can take your choice between muffins and cookies.

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#78

Paint her room pink when she's on a mission.

#79

Say that the Superior wanted you to tell her that her next mission is at a gentleman's club.

#80

Tell her that her that it is a frequently asked question from her fans: "Are you a boy or a girl?"

#81

Tell her that Demyx was sneaking into her room when she was out and stole her tampons.

#82

Give her an all-expense payed trip to Hawaii where she'll be snorkeling and scuba diving the whole time with a bunch of old single guys.

#83

Give her a gift of her own indoor pool and watch her freak out.

#84

(Another one that I couldn't think of and this was all that I could really think of) Tell her that Marluxia is gay and watch her freak out of how he isn't.

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**A/N:** Sorry for all you LarxeneXMarluxia fans. I didn't know what else to put for her.


	13. Xigbar

**A/N:** (checks pulse) Can't believe I'm still alive. Okay. Xigbar is the new victim... I mean, volunteer!

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#85

Calmly mention that Xigbar looks good with whipped cream, then walk out of the room.

#86

Use his gun-things as drum sticks.

#87

Also using his guns, order Chinese takeout. Can anyone say "chopsticks"?

#88

Ask him if he knows how surf.

#89

Ask him, "Where did you come from? Minnesota?"

#90

Write up a fake letter from Monty Python and tell him that he's going to be the next Black Knight.

#91

Tell him that his surfer accent reminds you of Brittany Spears. (My apologies to all Brittany Spears fans. I was one once upon a time.)

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**A/N:** We're getting close to the end! I if I don't get any reviews with you guys saying what you think would defiantly get you killed by Organization XIII soon, then the final chapter will be pretty short. I'll choose between what reviews I get for the funniest thing that you can do to get killed. Please put your say in this thing! I might make a poll.


	14. Xaldin

**A/N:** Okay. Xaldin's chapter. Jeesh. Another hard one. But I think I can do it.

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#91

Tell him that he left his thong in Xigbar's room.

#92

Switch out the Superior's door label with one that says "Superior Mansex hurr" on it, and have Xaldin's on the back.

#93

Ask him if he grew up in a trailer park, and if that's why his element is wind.

#94

Ask him if he has an obsession with cows, and after he answers, have someone moo from the general area of his room.

#95

Ask him if he was born that ugly or if he actually came from Halloween Town.

#96

Ask him if he has a fetish for 19th century women, or if he was really attracted to Beast and just used Belle to get at him.

#97

Tell him that Xigbar thinks he looks good in a skirt.

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**A/N:** Okay. The poll is up on my profile, so if you want to vote in what you would think that would get people murdered. If you have any more, please feel free to tell me. I'll wait about a week or so for everybody to vote. Please vote. (Demyx puppy dog eyes)


	15. The Final Chapter

**Okay. Because nobody was reviewing, I'm just going to put the last chapter up now. Because I feel like making people wait since I haven't gotten any reviews with ideas, here is the section that will get you killed by Sora, Riku and Kairi.**

#98

Tell Sora that there was a secret conspiracy between Riku and Kairi to get him out of the picture so that they can become a couple.

#99

Tell Kairi that Sora was actually in love with either Naminé or Riku and that they already shared a paupo fruit. **(Please note that I do not know how to spell the star shaped fruit of Destiny Islands.)**

#100

Bring Riku in blindefolded to a cosmetology class and let the people there do his hair.

**Now, for fifth place for the running of the most likely thing that'll get you kiled by the organization is...**

_HAND OUT MONOGRAMMED ITEMS TO THE ORGANIZATION, THEN GET SOMEONE TO SAY THAT THEY'RE THE NEW MEMBER._

**Tied for second, all three of these had one vote each, and they are...**

_HIDE ALL OF THEIR HAIR GEL/HAIR SUPPLIES_ **(my personal favorite)**_, DRIVE A CAR INTO THE MEETING HALL AREA AND THEN DO DONUTS IN THAT LITTLE PLATFORM AREA, AND TELL THEM THAT HEARTS ULTIMATELY COME FROM THE LIGHT AND PROVE IT._

**And the one thing that would most likely get you killed by the Organization is... the moment that you all have been waiting for (hopefully)m the number one thing that'll get you killed by Organization XIII, leading by 2 votes...**

Roxas: Just get on with it!

**Oh, right, sorry, Roxy.**

Roxas: DON'T CALL ME THAT!!

**Touchy lately?**

Roxas: Nobody reviewed my chapter.

**Nobody reviewed Xaldin's chapter, either.**

_Xaldin:_ Nobody? (starts to cry)

**Axel: **Can you just say what will get you killed by us already?

**Okay, okay, chill Axe. Well, here's the thing that'll get you killed by Organization XIII, I guess.**

#101

Tell them that they are all tests for new Disney movies.

**Well, that's it for now. I might do another one, all depends entirely on you guys. So please tell me if that was good, and tell me if I should make a second story. Later tatters!**

**-- Anti-Form Sora**, Roxas, _Xaldin_, and **Axel**.


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